Monday, May 9, 2011

Conclusion: what I learned, or the parts I can express

I found this list in my journal from one of my last weeks in Costa Rica, so here are just a few of the things I learned this semester:


  • the U.S. has a dark side
  • black and white views are rare
  • you can eat anything if you have to
  • you can't master a language in 3 months- are you serious?
  • my buying habits effects the world
  • we aren't taught about the history of Latin America
  • our cultures are different, our values are different, our language is different- so why would we expect our solutions to work for their problems?
  • all economies are mixed, and maybe, just maybe it's ok if Latin America mixes it in favor of socialism
  • novelas are a piece of cake to understand compared to real people
  • when in doubt of whether to use por or para, you then have pora hahah jk
  • I am ignorant
  • it IS possible to live for 10 days out of a backpack
  • cockroaches are horrendously frightening
  • how to take the corn off the cob and grind it to make tortillas
  • if I can talk to a random stranger in Spanish about poverty, the economy, the government, and everything else under the sun, I can talk to people of my own language about anything.
  • I don't want to be a teacher.
  • I will discipline my children
  • how to truly empathize with foreigners and English learners
  • my world is the minority
  • the sun is stronger in Costa Rica
  • A group of 14 Christians of the same culture (U.S.) and the same subculture (Christian college students) can't agree on moral or Biblical issues, how can we expect the world to?
  • IMF and the World Bank are a mess.
  • social businesses are super cool (i.e. Mohammed Yuniss- you should look him up!)
  • home grown development is the only thing that will truly raise countries out of poverty
  • hope can be hard to come by
  • I am RICH.
  • I have responsibilities now bc of how affluent my society is, bc of how many opportunities I have, and bc of how much I now know
  • I hate injustice and corruption
  • the more you learn, the less you know
mi querida Costa Rica y mis queridos que yo conocí, les extaño y les amo para siempre. Nos vemos.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

he regresado a mi patria...

 back in the U.S. -- made it to Miami and will be leaving for California onThursday.
...this is  so bittersweet.

Wait til you hear about Cuba :)

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Off to Cuba!

We are leaving for Cuba today!! We get back next Monday, spend a night in San Jose (not with our families), then fly out Tuesday to Miami. Once in Miami we have "re-entry" all day Wednesday, and then fly home Thursday! I can't believe this trip is coming to a close. It's kinda surreal. But I will not have internet in Cuba, so this is it! Please pray for travel safety for our group, and good customs agents! :)
See you soon! <3

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Reflections


So I have done a lot of here’s what I did blah blah blah blogs and not a lot of reflecting. That’s because reflecting blogs are harder. And for the majority of my time here my brain couldn’t think anymore by the time I got home. But I think it is time for a reflection or a compilation of thoughts.

God has rocked my world since being here- challenged me emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and at times physically (diarrhea 17 times in 5 hours will do that to you ahahaa). I kinda don’t know where to begin… The one thing that has been impressed on me in this past week is Jesus. And what I mean by that is He is everything (not saying I didn’t know that before) but passions fade and convictions fade, but Jesus doesn’t fade! His cause has lasted and will last. I’m scared I will forget all I’ve learned here, but one thing is certain that I won’t forget the most important thing in my life- Jesus.  I think being here and learning about all these problems and all the injustices in the world it is easy to forget Jesus and who He really is and what He really came for. Yes, all these injustices and inequalities are important and we need to be active in them and work for solutions because Jesus cares about the poor and oppressed. He loves the poor and oppressed so we should too, but our hope has to be in Him. Our hope cannot be in a better world. Our hope is in Him. I’m coming home with a lot of frustration at the world, at my own country, at history, at my own lifestyle, but frustration can fade and probably will fade. It has to be backed by something stronger, something that will stand the test of time and the only thing that will stand the test of time is Jesus. 
     The thing I’m most afraid of is coming back and living a comfortable or convenient life. Jesus hasn’t called any of us to a comfortable life. But it is so easy to slip into that in my life. Everyone shops at Target/Walmart. Everyone gets bananas at the grocery store. Convenience and efficiency are king in the U.S. It is engrained in our mentality and our culture. But that shouldn’t be first. Our God loves justice. Our God loves the poor. I am not loving the poor  or justice by participating in a system that is keeping them impoverished and taking away their basic human rights. But living differently is so…. what… INCONVENIENT.
   And I’ve just been talking about consumerism but loving the poor and justice is so much bigger than consumerism. Are we loving the poor? Money isn’t love. Checks aren’t love. Love is patient, kind, gentle… 1 Corinthians 13—that is love. So how do I love them? How do I love them? How do I fight for justice in my daily life? I don’t know. I don’t know. I have no idea where God is going to take my life when I get home or when I begin my career. Time and prayer, lots of prayer will tell. 

Short Term Missions


        Another thing that has changed, and come to a resolved position (at least for the moment hahahaaa) is my opinion on short term missions. And for me, this was a struggle that raged in my mind for quite a while, because I know that short term missions changed me and God used them to form me and to open my eyes to the world and draw me to Him and His purposes in the world. However, short term missions really are not promoting sustainable help and growth for those in poverty and in need. They do not form long term, sustainable relationships (I am speaking of the majority of short term missions, please bear with me to my conclusion). And really, are they doing anything that couldn’t be done in that community, for example, building houses—the people do not have the money to build the houses, but someone in that community probably knows how and probably could use the work, so by coming and building houses for a week are we taking away a valuable work opportunity in that community that could foster growth and development? But then, you just start sending checks, and that is not sustainable or helpful either (if any of you have read Shane Claiborne, and his whole idea of being with the poor, because that is what Jesus did, and being present in their lives, not just sending a check to relieve our North American consciences, harsh I know but many times true). I went through that circle of thought many times, because then where does that leave you??
            And in short term missions, you come for a week and expect the community to love you and invest their time and energy, but then you leave and after a month they are nothing but a memory. People go in expecting to not keep those relationships. How is that helpful to that community?
           And then the other issue we come to, are we providing for the needs that we as North Americans see, or are we providing for what the community itself sees as a need and wants met? And with that whole issue comes another scenario: You are in this community building long term relationships etc etc. If we decide that we must meet the needs the community asks us to meet before imposing what we think they need, let’s say they don’t have clean water, but what they see as a need is a soccer field for their youth ( a real scenario given from a speaker), so you provide a soccer field for them. Now you know they need clean water, and people are getting sick and some are dying from preventable diseases born from unclean water. I am a woman in that community, and my child gets sick from the water, and dies. If I knew that you could have prevented my child’s death,and kept that information from me, how incredibly hurt and angry would I be?
         These are just a few of the arguments that I have been having in my mind, and hashing out with others in the group. One thing I keep returning to after all this ideological stuff we fight through here, is that these are real individuals, and we must never stop looking at them as individual people. And the conclusion that I have come to (and again subject to change as I have come to see all of my conclusions and opinions are) is that short term missions really do more good for the North Americans who go than for the communities they visit. For many North Americans it opens their eyes to how the majority of the world lives and to the needs and injustices and inequality in the world. It can change hearts, and draw them to Christ and his desires in the world. And this has value!! We need North Americans to wake up to what the reality is in the rest of the world! We must continue to wake them up. However, I propose that we make this a goal of our short term “missions” trips, that they become more educational and have an intentional goal and purpose to educate and open the eyes of those who go. Lets lay that on the table and work to make that as effective as possible.
          A second part of the conclusion I have come to is that short term missions must be done in a way where long term sustainable relationships can be built and sustainable aid can be achieved. By this I mean, that I do not think that one week trips, or one time trips should be done. ( and I am cringing as I write this because I know that so many people go on these). One of the most effective and healthy ways I see short term missions is through church to church partnerships. Those are long term. You can get to know the people of that community. You build trust, and can find out what they need from their perspective and work with them to develop sustainable solutions.
         Now you may be saying the one critical thing I have left out here is the spreading of the Gospel, because that is the ultimate purpose of missions trips. And I haven’t forgotten that. But something that I have realized here in Latin America is that I don’t have a voice to share the Gospel with people here. I barely know their culture (and I’ve been here 3 months now), and I barely know the language. I don’t know, I just feel like I wouldn’t be listened to as an equal. It would be looked at as the “North American view point” and not as the God’s message to the world. And back home we always talk about building relationships, and just loving the people, and that we have to build a trust to be able to share Jesus with our friends. Live the love of Christ, don’t just talk about it. But I just don’t see that happening in short term missions. I can see people coming to help a local church live the love of Christ.  Because even if a group does come for a week or two weeks and they are able to cross the cultural and language and all other barriers to lead people to Christ… what then? Those people need a church. They need people who are going to walk alongside them in their spiritual journey, but the people who brought them to Christ can’t do that, and do those who came make sure that those people will be taken care of after they leave?
        Now let me say that I have seen many missions trips done really well. Center for Student Missions—educates students about the issues in the big cities in the U.S. Shows them the needs in their own culture and in their own communities. Students volunteer all week in organizations that are established and that are sustainably helping to fight the problems present.
The way Jeff has taken students back to Venture Church in Seattle. Real relationships, real needs being met. PCC’s relationship with Bombo Pentecostal Church. AACF at UCLA has gone back to the same church in Mexico over a span of years, and knows those people.
         The thing I am struggling with right now is the Student Missions Union at Biola. When I was looking at schools, that was one of the things I loved about Biola. Now, I really really don’t know. From what I know ( and I could be misinformed or don’t know the complete picture), they are one time trips service and gospel oriented where you just go once and that’s it. Ahhh, I don’t think that’s ok.  It doesn’t line up at all with my above conclusions. And what I am thinking about is going back to Biola and not really wanting to support that… Everyone is always always asking for money and support of their specific missions trip…  and many of them I don’t think I can support. I don’t doubt there are some trips that are being done in a way I agree with, but… sigh.  Even if I had the voice in that organization to make a change(which I don’t), finding or designing a way to do it where you are incorporating the gospel, education for those who go, sustainable development/solutions, and longterm relationships just seems way way out of reach.
    But anyhow, that is where I have come to stand on short term missions for the moment. 

the end of San Gabriel


I just finished my last day at La Escuela de San Gabriel Brenes Robles. I am relieved. I am glad I am a nursing major, and not an education major. And that is actually a relief to know. There have definitely been times where I wondered if I should change my major to education (part of that is because of the importance of good education and the lack of it in the world).  And now I think I know that I don’t want to teach school for the rest of my life, and I wouldn’t be very good at it, at least not elementary school. Now that is not to say I didn’t enjoy this experience, it is just not what I want to do forever, or for more than 3 weeks. Hahahaa I admire elementary school teachers for doing that day in and day out. It’s definitely trying and challenging. But I think the thing that got me was I was just bored with the material… I don’t like doing the same basic material over and over and over again. Give me a challenge! Haa that is the challenge- doing it over and over and over. Hahahaha
       Random commentary on schools: At this school, the morning kids got fed lunch everyday, and in the afternoon everyone got a piece of fruit ( half come in the morning and half in the afternoon and it alternates everyother day). And ate the food for my lunch everyday, and it was the best school cafeteria food I’ve ever had. But it was simple! It was normally some sort of rice dish and beans or chicken or tuna. And it was always really good. And it was fresh, without preservatives or all the chemicals that bringing fast food into schools has. And it was because they did food that was easy to make in mass amounts- rice and bean dishes. Why don’t we try doing easier and simpler meals in our cafeterias in the US? Rice and beans is pretty good for you. A carb and a protein that isn’t fried at least. At first all the American kids would probably have a cow, but it would be a better quality of food!
       Other random thoughts: I have watched The Princess and the Frog, Tangled, Aladdin, Harry Potter 6, Bewitched, The Lion King, and Space Jam all in Spanish in San Gabriel! Hahaha Also, they have tons of pirated movies!!!! 

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY DANNY!!!!!


Almost through week 2 in San Gabriel. Danny’s birthday is Saturday, and I forgot to mail his card in San Jose. I asked a couple days ago about a post office here… there isn’t one near by. So the card is written and addressed but sitting in my bag. And I won’t be able to call him on his birthday, no where to make the call or buy a phone card, at least that I know of. Sorry Dan!! L But take note, I didn’t forget!!