Reflections

So I have done a lot of here’s what I did blah blah blah blogs and not a lot of reflecting. That’s because reflecting blogs are harder. And for the majority of my time here my brain couldn’t think anymore by the time I got home. But I think it is time for a reflection or a compilation of thoughts.

God has rocked my world since being here- challenged me emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and at times physically (diarrhea 17 times in 5 hours will do that to you ahahaa). I kinda don’t know where to begin… The one thing that has been impressed on me in this past week is Jesus. And what I mean by that is He is everything (not saying I didn’t know that before) but passions fade and convictions fade, but Jesus doesn’t fade! His cause has lasted and will last. I’m scared I will forget all I’ve learned here, but one thing is certain that I won’t forget the most important thing in my life- Jesus.  I think being here and learning about all these problems and all the injustices in the world it is easy to forget Jesus and who He really is and what He really came for. Yes, all these injustices and inequalities are important and we need to be active in them and work for solutions because Jesus cares about the poor and oppressed. He loves the poor and oppressed so we should too, but our hope has to be in Him. Our hope cannot be in a better world. Our hope is in Him. I’m coming home with a lot of frustration at the world, at my own country, at history, at my own lifestyle, but frustration can fade and probably will fade. It has to be backed by something stronger, something that will stand the test of time and the only thing that will stand the test of time is Jesus. 

     The thing I’m most afraid of is coming back and living a comfortable or convenient life. Jesus hasn’t called any of us to a comfortable life. But it is so easy to slip into that in my life. Everyone shops at Target/Walmart. Everyone gets bananas at the grocery store. Convenience and efficiency are king in the U.S. It is engrained in our mentality and our culture. But that shouldn’t be first. Our God loves justice. Our God loves the poor. I am not loving the poor  or justice by participating in a system that is keeping them impoverished and taking away their basic human rights. But living differently is so…. what… INCONVENIENT.

   And I’ve just been talking about consumerism but loving the poor and justice is so much bigger than consumerism. Are we loving the poor? Money isn’t love. Checks aren’t love. Love is patient, kind, gentle… 1 Corinthians 13—that is love. So how do I love them? How do I love them? How do I fight for justice in my daily life? I don’t know. I don’t know. I have no idea where God is going to take my life when I get home or when I begin my career. Time and prayer, lots of prayer will tell.